A New and Completely Original Nlp Technique For Dealing With 'caring Too Much'
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2009
by Douglas Cartwright
Living Words Coaching and Training
You can use this pattern if you place too much importance on certain ways of thinking or feeling (about yourself OR other people). This pattern came about after I had been speaking to someone who I didn't get on with but felt I was giving them too much power to affect the way I felt about myself. I have used it in coaching conversations to powerful effect.
Summary: Sometimes we just place too much value on something whether it is a way of thinking, someone's opinion or an activity. This can be counter-productive and draining. Because maintaining "negative" beliefs draws on a lot of our energy we free up new energy when we eliminate them.
This pattern is designed to help reduce the value we place on unwanted thought patterns thus empowering us to draw back and more easily consider other options. It was originally developed when the author found he was putting too much value in other peoples' opinions.
1) Identify a belief to transform.
On what in your thoughts and/or you life do you place too much value? What belief do you not feel as positively charged? What "negative" belief do you have that drains you? What belief could you do better without?
2) Rate the limiting belief.
On a subjective scale, where would it rate? On the scale from -10 to -1 and then from 0 to 10, where is it? [If it is "negative," rate it in the minus part of the continuum.] If you knew how much negative energy it takes, what rating would you give it?
__________________________________________________________
-10 -9 -8 -7 -6 -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 -0 _ +1 +2 +3 +4 +5 +6 +7 +8 +9 +10
3) Use the "Pretend" or "As if..." Frame and imagine releasing the belief completely.
Test by asking and imagining: "What would my life be like if the negative belief was completely gone?" How does it feel to drop that completely? Do you like that? Does the belief have the right to be of any value at-all? Will it still be valuable in five years time? What will it continue to sabotage if you keep it? You may find that when you imagine completely dropping the issue, you actually want to keep some aspects of the idea that you over-valued.
4) Decide how valuable you want the belief to be and ask questions to reduce the importance of the limiting belief.
On a scale of 1 - 10 again, how much would you like to value that belief? What would you have to stop valuing for that belief to be rated at x [your number]? How will you need to think differently about this in order for it to be reduced in power but still useful in a way that is important to you? What would you have to stop valuing, or value less, for this to have less importance? What would you have to value instead for it to not be a problem at all? What would you have to think that would cause it to loose its power over you?
5) Identify the new empowering replacement belief and value.
What would you like to value instead? [Go inside and just allow the answers to come to you, go into a light musing state.] How much do you value that on a scale of 1 - 10? Is that enough or do you need to reword it to include extra resources or ideas? How would you like to value this instead? What would it be like? Do you like this? Fully experience what it would be like to value this instead. Use your mind and body to imagine 'as-if' you knew. [If no answers come to mind, then for the sake of stimulating your mind, imagine the complete opposite to what you previously valued.]
6) Evaluate the new belief/value.
Will this change the way you act/think and feel? How will it change your attitude and behaviours? How much will it change things for you?
7) Amplify for greater impact.
As you imagine having this value fully and completely, does it feel complete and compelling enough? What else would you like to add into your experience of this feeling? Menu list: Joy, happiness, self-appreciation, etc. Imagine fully having those states, anchor them and then fire off the anchors as you think about having this new value. What will it be like to imagine experiencing this in your future? How do you enjoy that?
8. Confirm and future pace.
Do you like that? [Yes.] How does it feel to realize that this is a much more empowering way to value? What is it like as you imagine having this today, tomorrow and into your future, in the contexts where you need it?
Douglas Cartwright is an NLP Trainer and has written two short ebooks containing new NLP patterns. You can find them at http://www.livingwords.net/livingwordsebooks/index.html and contact him through http://www.livingwords.net
This Article has been viewed 33 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.