What Is Your Life Paradigm?

A paradigm is a theme, or worldview which seems to explain how things are.

So until Galileo came along the overwhelming paradigm was that the world was flat.

Other paradigms exist such as man cannot achieve powered flight, if a train goes over 30 miles per hour the people inside will suffer injury and the four minute mile is an impossibility.

Of course, by now you'll have realised that these paradigms are all ones that have been disproved. But they held the minds and imaginations of many men and women for a long time until someone came along and said I have evidence that counters them. Even then, many of those people were sneered at.

Today, we can smile at such paradigms from a position of superior knowledge. We truly DO know better than those men and women because we are sitting on the side of counter-proof.

But when it comes to our own personal paradigms, the psychological patterns and themes WE live by, its not so easy.

Why?

Because theyre often invisible and unconscious.

And this can be a real problem if your personal paradigms are toxic and destructive.

We often live out life stories (what therapists called scripts) that explain us to what we are like and what we expect from life. And then, because our stories/scripts/themes are actually beliefs, we attempt to find evidence to support them.

That is what the human brain does - it looks for evidence to prove itself right. Thats why Solomon said Every man is right in his own eyes and as a man thinketh in his heart (mind, emotions, will), so he is.

The question is do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

Dont get me wrong as a Christian I believe there is Ultimate Truth in Gods word. But I also believe that some less important beliefs should be judged by their usefulness

Let me give you an example. I was out walking this morning feeling like something wasnt quite right, so I had a chat with myself.

And as I talked, and listened to my own mind, I started to hear myself saying that I believed my expectations were that my current projects weren't go to work out.

I dug a little deeper, and asked myself: Do I generally believe that things won't work out?

Yes, came back the answer.

What about the house I want to buy?

Youll never get it came back the answer!

And the nice new Chrysler I want?

Nope

Shocker! At that point, I realised I had found a paradigm a general theme that I believed things in my life weren't going to work out. I knew that unless I changed this it would continue to influence my attitude towards my work, ministry etc.

Using my skills as a coach, I spent some time challenging those expectations and asking myself What would be a more useful way to think?

I eventually settled upon the idea that I'm going to work to make things turn out for me the best I can, and the best for those involved although sometimes Ill have to compromise on what I end up with.

You know what? I feel great. My paradigm has shifted to going for the best I want but will accept the best I can actually get.

So how can you investigate your own life paradigms?

You can get a piece of paper and ask yourself questions such as:

What do I expect from life?

When I think about my [spiritual life, family, career, finances etc] I feel/think.

What is the story of my life?

If I were to describe my life in several words, what would they be?

If I were to be an object, what would I be?

Write down as many answers as you can. Take a break and then come back to them.

Overall, what do the answers suggest?

If you see a theme that you don't like or think doesn't work for you, challenge it.

Do I REALLY believe that?

Do I HAVE to believe that?

Do I WANT to believe that?

Would I sell that one to my kids?

And then think about a small shift in perspective you could make today towards:

What would be a more:

Reasonable

Spiritual

Adult

Useful

perspective to adopt?

Give yourself permission to try the new thought for ten minutes, an hour, the day.

You may find yourself forgetting to remember to go back to the one that didn't serve you, didn't you? (!!)